Don't get too excited, it's no-one inparticular, just guys in general. In fact, christian guys mostly.
Something a lot of people don't seem to realise is that us religous nuts/bible bashers/spiritual fruitcakes/christians are in fact, beneath the banner of grace God has put over us, pretty normal. Unfortunately I can only come at this from a girl's perspective but whatever, this is a blog from the girls to the guys of christendom.
Amongst the regular, normal things that us christians do like other people, is date. Or go out, or "go steady" for you americanised folks out there. However, like most areas of life, for christians it's not quite the same as it is for those who aren't christians; we don't have sex, we don't live together, we don't have fun... haha, just kidding folks. On the last one anyway. Anyway, another area in which it's different, and sometimes not in a good way, is the speed at which- not the relationship grows- but at which the relationship actually formulates.
Now, maybe this is just because I'm a single 19 year-old christian who's not had the best (or most existant haha) love life but from my experience, christian guys are about the slowest movers on the planet:
Okay, so maybe I exaggerate slightly. In fact, maybe it's specifically a British problem (she said, expertly basing her opinion on her intake of American culture: movies and TV). Now please don't misjudge me; I am very happy where I am in life, singleness included. I have peace knowing I am in the centre of God's plan for me and He's got it in under control. However, that doesn't mean that I don't go all girly and throw the occasional pity party for myself because Mr. Right hasn't walked into my life. What I am saying is though, when he does come into my life walking is fine. Walking briskly is fine. Running is fine. Crawling and tip-toeing is not.
Christian guys of Britain: BE MEN.
By all means get to know someone, pray about it, but seriously, if you like a gal just ask if she'd like to hang out some time- with other people, with a bible in between you- you can add your own side details as you wish, just as long as you go for it!
2 Timothy 1:7 says "For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and
discipline" Amen to that, brothers!
On a serious note, society has kind of messed up the roles of men and women and it does kinda get confusing about who does what and who pays and whatever. However, in a biblical man-woman relationship, the man is the leader. Check out Ephesians 5 where it talks about Man - Woman equates to Christ - Church.
- Christ seeks US out and pursues us; men, you can figure out how that equates to men-women relationships.
- Christ leads the church.
When you guys take months/years to approach a woman in terms of starting a relationship or expressing interest, you have no idea what it's like for us bible-believing, God-fearing woman and girls waiting for YOU to make the move, and the longer you take the more tempting it is for us to try and take control of the situation by trying to make a move, flirting, wearing more revealing/eye-drawing clothing etc etc. Basically, not good. It is serious. It's issues like this that have driven people to start christian dating sites. I don't know what your opinion is, but honestly I think it is one of the most contradictory things on the planet: "Oh yes, I trust God, I want a Godly man/woman, but nothing is happening so I'm going to take control of the situation, not trust God and look online instead." YEAH... okay. Now, I'm not saying that good relationships don't form out of them but I just don't think it's the way to go. It's like you're telling God that His way isn't working or isn't good enough and thinking you can outsmart Him. Doesn't sound good to me.
Now guys, if you feel you have some growing to do in your relationship with God first before you can even think about starting one with a girl then that's fair and I would REALLY encourage that. There is nothing more attractive to a Jesus-loving woman than a man who is completely captivated and in love with Jesus himself, so get into the biblical weight room and exercise your faith muscle some more. But if God brings a woman into your life, don't run away from it- God made women because it wasn't good for you guys to be alone, come on!
Maybe I'm by myself in this and I'm just making myself look like a lonely, desperate Queen of the Singles, but that's not why I'm writing this, and I hope I'm not the only person who feels this way.
As much as I'm basically telling you guys to get a move on, more than anything else, just listen to God and react to what (or more importantly, who) He's putting in front of you. If you feel God's telling you to remain single, then do that. But don't use your spirituality as an excuse for being a woose.
(In case you hadn't cottoned on, I'm talking about christian-christian relationships here. If you don't understand why christian-nonchristian doesn't work then I'll maybe write something else to do with that.)
There ya go, your regular dose of Amy-thoughts for a while. God loves you guys and He's reaching out for you, you just have to acknowledge the signs. Praying you find God's peace,
Amy, Queen of the Singles.
'But if God brings a woman into your life, don't run away from it'
ReplyDeleteDid you mean her? Or did you mean run away from it as in run away from life?
No, I did specifically mean "it". By "it" I'm really referring to anything that God has brought about in your life or something you feel he's telling you to pay attention to. It's easy to run away from a girl if you think that it's just your feelings that are the problem, but when you're running away from something that God is doing (think of Jonah)it's a much bigger problem and actually, (again, think of Jonah) running away might not even work. So basically, don't run away from what God is telling you. And of course this applies to all areas of life, not just your relationships :)
DeleteSo, another way to put it might be: "But if God brings a woman into your life, don't run away from, or ignore, the fact that God has done something/said something for you to act on"
Hope that makes it more clear for you :) God bless.