Gambling your life away?

Gambling is a very familiar part of our culture here in the UK, and has been for decades, whether it's betting on a horse to win a race or on a football score, or simply buying a lottery ticket or a scratch card. According to the British Gambling Prevalence Survey 2010, 73% of all adults (16+) had participated in some form of gambling over the past year. That's around 35.5 million people. So, how much are these people spending exactly? Between October 2011 and September 2012, the British gambling industry generated a gross gambling yield of £6.2 billion. That's a lot.

Gambling Industry Statistics Apr'09- Sept'12, Gambling Commission

And this is how it's being spent.


 The Oxford English Dictionary defines the verb to gamble as such:
1. to play games of chance for money; bet
2. to take risky action in the hope of a desired result

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about betting and gambling, and about how they play a bigger role in all of our lives than we realise. I don't mean the examples I've just been giving, but the very concept of gambling itself: investing in something whilst believing or hoping that it will work out in our favour. This idea transfers to so many areas of our lives, from sending that "risky text" to the person we've fancied for months to buying shares in a company.

   But we don't make these sorts of decisions based on nothing, do we? In most betting scenarios we first look at the evidence before investing: which team has been playing better recently?; which horse has been running well?; what are the experts saying?; has the person of our affections given any signs they feel similarly?; does the company have a good record and a prosperous looking future?

Let me ask you something-

"What is the maximum you would be willing to bet on something you believed in?"

This answer to this question, of course, depends on a couple of factors.

• How important the issue/belief involved is; what impact it will have on your life
• How certain you are of the outcome; how much evidence there is in favour of the outcome

Take a couple of seconds to think about it.

So now let me ask you another question-

 "What would you be willing to bet on your beliefs about God being true?"

Let's go through our points.

How Important is the Issue of God's existence?

If God doesn't exist, then we can live our lives as we please, accountable to no one except perhaps to those in power. It also means that there is no purpose in anything we do except for our own happiness and the happiness of those around us, and one day we will just die and cease to exist. Really, the non-existence of God would have zero impact on us at all as whether we believe in him or not, we will all share the same fate and die. The End.

  But what if He does?

  If God does exist, then what we believe regarding Him is intrinsically important. If God does exist, then we are ultimately accountable to Him for our actions and come under His Authority and Justice. If God does exist, life is no longer just about making the most of it, having a good time and then dying. If God does exist then what we believe about Him does matter as we come face to face with eternity and where we will spend it. If God does exist, then we will either spend eternity with Him, in Paradise, or without Him, in a place called Hell. 

On one side, it matters nothing at all. On the other, it means absolutely everything. Are you willing to bet on it meaning nothing or everything?

What Evidence is there for the Existence and Non-Existence of God?

I'm struggling with how to put this in a way that is fair, but my own reasoning and logic tells me that there is no evidence for the non-existence of God, but only evidence against the existence of God (think about it, there is a difference), and so that is the manner in which I'm going to approach this.

  One strong opposition people have to the existence of God is the existence of pain and suffering at the hands of evil. However, if we think back to the consequences of there being no God, then we can all do what we want and we're not accountable to anyone. If this is the case, then why do we care so much about evil and injustice in the world? If there is no God then there is no ultimate justice and we can all do what we want without any ultimate consequences, and that's what we want to believe until we don't like what some people choose to do with that. 

"How could God allow such evil in the world?"

The evil in this world is generated from the attitude born out of a disbelief in God in the first place! People can choose to do what they want to and what makes them happy, consequently hurting other people: God doesn't exist, I don't have to answer to anyone, I can just do what I want for the sake of my own happiness and then die, leaving behind the mess I've made in my path to "happiness". God, out of His love, allowed us to have our own minds, to make our own choices, to decide whether we wanted Him or not and evil is what comes from our decision to reject Him. 

  One of the more recent things that is used as evidence against the existence of God is science. I can already tell you that I'm not going to give you a very good "argument" here, simply because I do not understand the logic of the idea that because we know more about how the world works it proves it developed on its own. I've studied and enjoyed learning about chemistry for the past 7 years now, and I think the primary reason I find it so interesting is because I enjoy finding out how things work, and learning just how utterly complex and amazing our world is. For me, as I have learnt more and more in the subject of chemistry, and the things I learn have become increasingly difficult, I am only further persuaded that our universe must  have been designed and created. Logic tells me that finding out that something is infinitely more complex than we previously understood, takes us further away from being able to say that it all happened on its own! As far as the big bang theory and evolutionary theory go- so what? In terms of God existing, they make no difference; it doesn't matter how you believe our world came into being and developed, you can't disprove or find evidence against God having been the One to have caused it all.

  I'm sure there are more arguments for there being evidence against God's existence, but the purpose of this blog is just to give you an idea. If you have anything specific yourself that you'd like to ask me about, don't hesitate to get in touch and I'll do the best I can to give you an answer.

So, on the flip side, what evidence is there to suggest God does exist? Well, I could go on forever, but that's not the point of this blog!

I could start by using the reverse of my last point: look at the world around you, you don't need to have any scientific knowledge to look at our planet and see that it is 

amazing! Look at all the different types of trees and flowers, look at all the crazy amazing looking fish in the sea, look at the colours EVERYWHERE! The birds in the sky, the terrifyingly terrific wildlife of Africa, the giant immovable mountains, and the superbly small yet amazing insect world.

Look at the sky above you, the wonderfully fluffy clouds and beautiful blue sky, thundering black clouds fit to burst with water droplets, flashes of lightening that light up the entire sky. Look at the stars and the moon. What a different world it would be without them! Feel the involuntary sense of smallness as you gaze out into the universe and are dazzled by its beauty and enormity.

Look at yourself. You are amazing. You can see, you can hear, you can taste, you can smell, and you can feel, that is amazing in itself. You started off life as two cells! And look at you now! And you're intelligent, too, more intelligent than any other creature on the planet. But you're still more than that. You're not just a body and a mind, an intelligent machine meandering through life; you are a person. Think over your life, think of the pain and the heartache, think of that overwhelming joy and happiness, think of how much you love/d that person, think of that unexplainable feeling of emptiness- are you really just a well assembled piece of matter?

Look at Jesus. (I've gone over this in a previous blog, but I'll just give you a wee bit to give you the idea in context). You cannot disprove Jesus, he was a real person in history. His life and death were prophesied hundreds and thousands of years before he was even born. He lived a perfect life, he was beaten and nailed to a cross of wood, and he died. And then three days later the tomb was empty. Hundreds of people testify the risen Jesus, thousands of people at a time accept him as their saviour and are baptised in his name, his disciples go out into Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria and to the ends of the earth proclaiming Jesus as the Son of God who could save from sin and more and more people became followers of Jesus Christ. They were persecuted, beaten and killed but still would not reject their Jesus.

They invested everything they had for what they believed about God. 

They knew it was the most important thing in life.

And they knew what they believed was True.

Now let me ask you again, 

"What would you be willing to bet on your beliefs about God being true?"

Believe it or not, you are betting with exactly what persecuted Christians all over the world have been for 2000 years:

  your life.

Whether you like it or not, your whole life is at stake here. And I don't just mean your life here on earth, either. You can't afford to dilly dally around it or be agnostic- Your eternity hangs in the balance! 

It's your choice to believe that God doesn't exist, but...

are you ready to bet your life on it?

'Cause you better be.

BIG NEWS.

So, where do I even begin?

This last year for me has been huge and God has done more in my life than I could have even hoped or dreamt for. A year ago, I had just come back from my orientation weekend for going to Cuba where I met my team for the very first time and learnt more about where I was going, and I was buzzing. I had no idea that a year later I would be leaving my chemistry degree behind and be preparing to return to Cuba as a missionary for 2 years, as of January 2014.

  I told you it was big.

After returning from Cuba last year, I knew that I had been called to serve God as a missionary in Central America. From before I even left, I knew I wouldn't be wanting to come home; every day I was in Cuba I counted the days I had left to cherish in this amazing country with these precious people. I was right, when it was time to go home I didn't want to leave; I had come to feel so at home and I wasn't ready to leave it all behind. I had discovered what I was meant to do, where my gifts were meant to be used; university wasn't even worth the comparison.

  Before I went back to university, my Mum and Step-Dad had one of their quarterly bible teaching days in our village community centre. Our former pastor was speaking about two of the tribes of Israel who decided they didn't want to live across the Jordan River in The Promised Land but instead settle in a place called Gilead because they thought the land was better for them. The story thus far is that the Israelites have just spent 40 years in the desert after being freed from slavery in Egypt, and are preparing to finally enter The Promised Land. Our pastor was saying that often as christians we decide what is best for us and how far we want to go, and by doing this we try to put limits on what God can do in our lives and where He can take us; we get so satisfied with where we are that we're not willing to move on, whether we've been told that the new is better or not. I don't know if he said anything specific that really hit me, but while he was speaking I felt God saying to me that I now knew that I had been called and it wasn't my decision when that calling took effect, and I wasn't to finish my time at university. I immediately spoke to my Mum about it but, as all mothers I'm sure would, she told me not to be silly and that it was probably just nerves about going into 2nd year and moving into a flat. This seemed very plausible and so I tried to put it to the back of my mind and not think about it anymore.

  When I did get back to uni, something didn't seem to fit anymore. I had less work to do than I had in first year, but for some reason (but one I probably knew deep down) I just couldn't focus. I got everything done but I was never happy with it. The leaving uni issue was still at the back of my mind and I couldn't help but think of it from time to time, but really, what was the probability of God really asking me to do that? Nobody leaves uni to pursue missionary work, and if they did they would either look foolish or lazy and just looking for an excuse. I didn't want to appear either of those things.

  In November, I was down south (dear Englanders, this is what we Scots call anything south of The Border) for a debrief weekend with Latin Link- the organisation I had gone to Cuba with. It was a bittersweet weekend in some ways; it was lovely to remember and laugh about our time spent in Cuba but unfortunately only half of the Cublahs (nickname for our team) were able to make it. All weekend there were different talks on various things, naturally including ones on further mission work and investigating a calling to mission work. I decided I needed to take some time out to pray- I couldn't ignore these feelings any longer. After I finished praying, I felt the Lord tell me to read my devotion for that day:

"After Sanctification, it is difficult to state what your purpose in life is, because God has moved you into His purpose through the Holy Spirit. He is using you now for His purposes throughout the world as He used His son for the purpose of our salvation. If you seek great things for yourself, thinking "God has called me for this and for that," you barricade God from using you. As long as you maintain your own personal interests and ambitions, you cannot be completely aligned or identified with God's interests. This can only be accomplished by giving up all of your personal plans once and for all, and by allowing God to take you directly into His purpose for the world. Your understanding of your ways must also be surrendered, because they are now the ways of the Lord.

  I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me. God is using me from His great personal perspective, and all He asks of me is that I trust Him. I should never say, "Lord, this causes me such heartache." To talk that way makes me a stumbling block. When I stop telling God what I want, He can freely work His will in me without any hindrance. He can crush me, exalt me, or do anything else he chooses. He simply asks me to have absolute faith in Him and His goodness. Self-pity is of the devil, and if I wallow in it I cannot be used by God for His purpose in the world. Doing this creates for me my own cozy "world within the world," and God will not be allowed to move me from it because of my fear of being "frost-bitten." "

-November 10, My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers

I still wasn't certain if that was in context of leaving university but I knew I needed to start listening. I felt God say to me very clearly that I wasn't to seek the counsel of men or their advice, but I was to ask for prayer instead as I sought His will. I did this by firstly emailing my pastor at and then also emailing my grandparents who are missionaries in Thailand. My Grandpa got back to me and spoke to me about how God called him to be a missionary when he was 19 also, but he was in the army at the time and so it was right that he finish serving there first. This was in line with the thoughts of all my family members who knew at this time, and it felt like I was battling against them to make them believe I really felt God was saying this to me and it wasn't just some phase I was going through of wanting to leave university.
  Over the next month or so I tried not to think too much about it as I went through my semester 1 exams, as I'm pretty sure Christmas exams drive many people to consider leaving university under normal circumstances. However, I couldn't help but continue examining the situation and trying to discern whether the things that were happening were God continuing to speak to me or whether it was my overactive imagination trying to provide its own confirmation. By the time it came to the end of exams and eventually New Year, I decided that there had been too many small "coincidences" and times I'd felt God speaking to me for me to not come to the conclusion that He was asking me to leave university. 
  I told this to my Mum but she told me that she wasn't going to be on board with it until God had given me solid confirmation from the Bible. I wasn't too impressed with this firstly because I'd never asked for nor received this type of confirmation before and secondly, because by this point I was so concerned about doing what God wanted me to do I didn't trust myself to discern whether it was Him speaking to me or just my mind making things up. However, later that week I felt the Lord say to me that if I asked Him for confirmation from the Bible then He would give it to me. And so I prayed and told my Heavenly Father that I wanted to do what He wanted me to do, whatever that was, and asked Him to give me clear confirmation from His Word and that I would be in no doubt as to whether it was from Him or not.
  The next morning (it was a Sunday) we had a guest speaker at our church and I felt very clearly that God was going to speak to me. The message that morning was on Hebrews 11:8-18. 

"By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going." Hebrews 11:8 

I knew in the moment I opened up my bible and saw that verse that it was the confirmation I had asked for the night before. However, just to be absolutely certain, I asked the Lord that Mum would recognise that too without me having to say anything to her. And she did. It also turned out that when Mum and Don had been out at a fellowship evening the night before they had shared something of my situation and they too had prayed that God would give me clear confirmation!
  That was when I officially made the decision that I wouldn't be returning to university after the Summer. Although I guessed my leaving would probably be to make way for something to do with my calling to be a missionary, at the time I had no idea what God had planned for me instead of continuing my degree. 
  Over the couple of months following, God continued leading and guiding me in gradual steps until I realised that what He had planned for me was what I hadn't realised I'd wanted all along: to return to Cuba on an individual placement with Latin Link.

2 years ago, I had just left school and was planning on obtaining an MChem from Edinburgh University and christian mission wasn't even close to being on my mind. Now I am leaving my former ambitions behind me and pursuing the dreams I didn't even realise that I had. Although there are sacrifices involved with working as a missionary overseas, they are nothing in comparison to the joy that is mine through doing what I know God has called me to and the blessing I have known and will know as a result of putting faith in the Faithful God. 

"Jesus said, "Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life..." Mark 10:29-30

When we surrender everything we have to Jesus, He can and will do amazing things with what we give Him. It's never easy but it is always worth it. God knows our hearts way better than we do, and He loves us more than we will ever be able to understand, comprehend or appreciate- He is always worthy of everything we have to give to Him and He is able to do waaaay more with it than we can! Surrendering to God is like making an investment where we get infinitely more back from it than we put in. I could never have imagined where God would take me, but when I look back at my life I can see that He has been preparing me for it all this time. I want to leave you with this scripture which I have really come to understand and know in my heart through all of this.

"But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith- that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead." Philippians 3:7-11

Nothing is of greater worth than knowing Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour, and there is nothing more rewarding than putting your faith in Him and giving Him all you have to give. Put everything in His hands and watch the blessings flow.

My Fathers

In the UK, this Sunday the 16th of June is Father's Day. All over the country people will be worrying about what presents to buy, whether to go for a funny or emotional card and other Father's Day related concerns.

Those of you who read my blog as my friends will know my story, but there will be those of you out there who don't. It's not the first time I've taken this holiday as an opportunity to share my story, but I rejoice that everytime I share it the truth in it is no less valid.

I was born the second child in what was to be a family of four children, and grew up in a loving and God-centered environment. If you were able to watch my childhood, you may say that my parents were strict and perhaps over-protective- I probably thought it at the time as well- but looking back I can see that my parents gave me the best gift they possibly could have: they brought me up to know God and His love for me, and to love Him in return. Although I officially "prayed the prayer" when I was five years old, I really feel that God was all over my life from the very beginning- there has been no point in my life where I have known what it is to live without God's presence in my life. From a young age I had a very intimate relationship with God and trusted Him in everything; I was in no way a perfect child, but God gave me the gift of a hunger for His word and a thirst for His truth.

  Not only did I have a close relationship with my Heavenly Father, but I had one with my Earthly Dad, too. I was a real Daddy's girl, and there was nothing I cherished more than a good snuggle in the protective arms of my Dad. I know that a lot of girls will be able to testify to the fact that there are few things more truly comforting than a man, whether a father figure or boyfriend/husband, holding you and knowing that the care they have for you is real and that they will look after and protect you. One of the memories of my Dad that sticks out the most for me is a Sunday afternoon when I was 8 or 9. By this point, my parents were actually separated and we spent every second weekend at my grandparent's house around the corner where my Dad was living, and so on this weekend it was my Dad who took us to church. On this particular Sunday, I began feeling ill during church and so afterwards my Dad arranged for my silblings to be taken to my Mum's parents for lunch as usual while he took me home and looked after me. We got home, and I spent the afternoon wrapped up in a woolen blanket on the couch cuddling my Daddy as we watched the original Parent Trap movie. I felt loved and cared for, and being in a family of four kids, it was really special to spend this time just the two of us.
  At around 11 o'clock on Wednesday the 8th of October 2003, I was playing my flute in front of an audience for the first time. Little did I know that at the same time, my Dad had been taken home and was now worshipping at the feet of our Lord and Saviour in Glory. For a lot of 10 year olds, that day could have been described as the worst day of their lives; the most traumatic experience they could have gone through. But amidst the grief and the shock surrounding me at that time, the strongest thing that I felt was not loss, nor anger or confusion over why this had happened, why now, why my Dad. Instead it was a supreme peace, not generated from lack of chaos or from positive circumstances but from the knowledge that my Heavenly Father, Creator God, the King of the Heavens, was still in control. He loved me, He knew me better than anyone ever could, and He was going to take care of me and my family.

Isaiah 41:10

And He absolutely has. I don't want you to think that it has been easy and I'm just some crazy person who obviously has no emotion; I'm not. Over the last 9 and a half years there have been tears and there has been heartache, times where I would do anything just to spend a little more time with my Dad, to know that he loves me and is proud of me. But more than all of that, my God has been faithful! He has shown me that He is worth every ounce of my trust and that He will never ever fail me.
  Some people assume that faith is blind, built on nothing and merited by nothing. When I look at my life, my faith is able to grow because I can see the trail of evidence for God's faithfulness (never mind His existance!) all throughout my life! Though the death of my Dad will never, and should never, be thought of as a positive thing, God has used it and continues to use it as a source of blessing in my life and I know, even though one could be forgiven for thinking at the time that God must have lost control for my Dad to have died or He couldn't have loved me enough, that my God is so much BIGGER than all of these things! He can take the horrible, broken things of this life and turn them into something beautiful that is used for His glory! Just look at me: I am a broken and sinful person and, if left to my own strength and decisions, would make a terrible mess, but through God I can live in a way that is beautiful and honours Him. I still make mistakes, but my life is so much better when I surrender to God and admit that I can't do it on my own, believing and leaning on the promises that He makes to me in His Word.
  Although the loss of my Dad has left a part of me broken and weak, my God has not failed to care and cherish me in a way that only He is capable of doing. God doesn't let things happen in our lives to just expect us to live like everyone else. God knows the areas in which I need special care, and by His love and grace He fulfills me.

There may be some of you reading this who won't be celebrating your dad this Sunday, for whatever reason. Maybe you will be, but deep down you sense that there is something missing, there may be a need in your life you feel your father should but doesn't fulfil. Maybe your relationship with your dad is broken. I know the pain that the non-existance of a father or father figure can cause and the way that it can shape you as a person, and I often wonder where I would be if it were not for the grace of my Heavenly Father. I present my life before you today as evidence that there is a Father who never fails, whose love transcends all things and whose grace, power and strength are sufficient for you. All you need do is come to Him, brokenness, heartache and emotional baggage included. He can take it all. That's what God did when Jesus died on that cross! He took your sin, your pain, your weakness, your failures, everything that would ever hold you back from knowing Him and He nailed it to a cross. Jesus took all of that for you. He's just waiting for you to accept it. 

A Prayer.

O LORD, my God. 

You are great and powerful, seated in the heavenly places You spoke the world into existance and created a beauty incomprehensible that could not be reproduced by any man. You created the mountains, strong and immovable- yet You are stronger still and more steadfast than they. You are holy and perfect, everything You do is just and in You I can place my trust. 

My God, You are so vast and amazing that I cannot understand it. O LORD, forgive me for the times that I forget who You are or try to make You smaller into something I can understand. You made the heavens and the earth and You are Lord over it all, in You do all things hold together. With those same hands that created the entire universe, Father God, You have promised to hold my hand and protect my heart. You are my Father and my Creator; it was You who formed me in my mother's womb and it is You who blessed me with all the gifts and abilities that I have. You have been with me from the beginning; You chose me and set me aside for your purposes. When I look at my life I see Your sovereignty and Your grace amidst the mess of my mistakes and sinfulness; in the middle of the heartbreaks and the tears You were there, You cradled me in your arms and gave me peace.

 But LORD, I do not deserve it. I don't deserve the love You ceaselessly pour out upon me, the grace and mercy that flows through my life like a mighty river. I am imperfect and sinful; unworthy of anything that You have to give me except that which I relly do deserve: death. But despite everything, my stubbornness and sin, all the times I've turned my back on You, You love me. And because You love me You couldn't let me die; You couldn't let me be eternally separated from you, and so You sent your perfect son, the Lord Jesus Christ, on the biggest rescue mission in eternity to die in my place. He took the humiliation that I deserved, the flogging and the beating, he carried the cross that should have been mine and died upon it to pay the price for my sins. Father, I am incapable of even understanding what that really means. Your son, who is holy and perfect and without any sin chose to die for me so that I may know what it means to be reconciled to You- but death did not defeat him! He overcame the grave and defeated sin by rising from the dead so that I may be free from being a slave to sin and instead be a slave to righteousness; that I may be transferred from the dominion of darkness to the Kingdom of Light! 

Father, You have blessed me with so much. Through Jesus Christ, I have a joy and a peace that are everlasting and steadfast through any circumstance; I have the assurance of knowing that I am no longer under the law but under grace, and I can rejoice in the knowledge that You are in control of my life and that all things will work together for good. Without You, God, I can do nothing, but through You I can do all things! 

LORD, may You be glorified in my life. May I truly be able to say that to live is Christ and to die is gain. God, my desire is to see Your name glorified on this earth, to spread the news of freedom from sin and to sing Your praises with every fibre of my being. My God, what a privilege it is to serve You; how amazing that a seemingly insignificant sinner could be used by the Creator of the universe! Praise be to the name that is above all others, may everything that has breath praise the LORD of all creation! 

Father, I'm sorry for all the ways I let You down and put things above You. Thank You that you have promised me that You're not finished me yet, that You will complete the work that You have started in me and continue to shape and fashion me into the likeness of your son. Teach me Your ways, O God, and lead me in paths of righteousness for Your name's sake.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Your will be done,

AMEN.

Love?

14th of February. For the couples out there it's Valentine's Day, a wonderful excuse to get mushy and buy presents for one another. For everyone else it's, it's S.A.D. Single-Awareness-Day, another day of being alone. Apparently.
 Most singles react to Valentine's in one of the following ways:

• Branding it a commercial holiday that's really all about selling tacky heart-plastered merchandise rather than love
• To state their independence and declare to the world that they don't need a significant other to feel special
• Having a night spent watching romantic films with Ben & Jerry, pining for the Valentine's Day to come when they'll have their special someone sat beside them on the couch.

I think that, since the time I realised that boys weren't just for playing sports with, I have probably reacted in all three of these ways at some stage. All I wanted was for someone I liked to let me know that I was special to them, and Valentine's Day was just a painful reminder that that someone wasn't in my life yet. 

Since coming to university, God has been teaching me more about who He is and how I can trust Him with everything; my family, my future, my feelings. He has taught me that He is worth trusting, and that only through trusting Him completely and surrendering all of these things to Him can I have His peace, peace that passes all human understanding. And why can I trust Him? Because through His Word, the Bible, and by His faithfulness towards me all my life, He has shown me that He loves me. 

This February 14th I won't be moping about, feeling sorry for myself because I don't have someone to share it with. Ultimately, Valentine's Day is about Love, and God has shown me the most perfect love that I will ever have. Throughout my life He has pursued me, just as He pursues you, relentlessly showing me that He loves me and asking me to love Him back. 

Just like in The Notebook, when Noah climbs up onto a ferris wheel just to show Ally that he likes her and relentlessly pursues a date with her, God has saught after my heart, proving again and again that He loves me completely.

 In the Bible, it often makes use of the imagery of a marriage to demonstrate our relationship with God. God loves us and pursues a relationship with us, ultimately proving His that love by sending His son to die for our sins, and we're just not interested. We tell Him that He's not needed, that we're not interested in anything involving serious committment, that we just want to have fun, that there's someone or something else in our lives right now that is more important. Sometimes we just think that we're not good enough for Him and so we can't accept what He's offering us- His eternal love.

 One of my favourite books of the bible with regards to this is Ephesians. In chapter 5 it talks about the relationship that a man and wife should have in a marriage, by using Christ's love for His bride, the Church, as an example:

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." Ephesians 5:22-25 

 Husbands should be willing to die for their wives, and wives should live for their husbands, just as Christ died for the church and we are called to live our lives for Him. In chapter 1, it talks about how, when we come to Christ and accept His offer, we are "sealed with the Holy Spirit":

"In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory." Ephesians 1:13-14

I like to think of the Holy Spirit like our engagement ring to Christ. We have accepted His proposal, and He has given us His Holy Spirit as a sign of our promise to one another, until He returns and takes His bride home to be with Him forever. 

As a Christian, I still don't get it right all the time- far from it. I wonder from God and try to do things my own way in my own time, not trusting Him and His sovreignty. Sometimes I am downright disobedient and turn my back on His will. But it doesn't matter how many times or how badly I let Him down, He promises to never let me go, He has forgiven me and He loves me with a perfect love that looks past my imperfections because of the price that Jesus paid on the cross for me.

 God has shown me the greatest love story ever known, and given me the chance to be a part of it. This Valentine's, I can celebrate the love that I have through my Saviour Christ Jesus and praise the God of all creation who loved me enough to pay the ultimate price so that I could be with Him forever. That doesn't mean I don't look forward to a day where I can share a Valentine's Day with my beloved, or that I won't sometimes wish that he was with me now, but I can have confidence that he will come in God's time and that God's plan for me is going to be so much more amazing than any love story that I could come up with. I'm not afraid to be honest with you, sometimes I do feel like that day will never come; I think that there must be something wrong with me because no one seems to show any interest or pay any attention to me; that I'm not pretty or talented enough. 

 But God has never told me that. 

He shows me in the Bible that He has and will provide me with everything I have and ever will need, that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and that He will fulfil the desires of my heart as I delight in Him. All I need to do is trust Him.

God wants you to be a part of this story. He's pursuing you and asking you to love Him back and accept His offer of eternal salvation through Jesus Christ. He's down on one knee, offering you everything that you will ever need. What will you say this Valentine's; yes or no?

Good Person?

It's a term we all know pretty well, in fact most people believe this term would cover most people- apart from that one person you really don't like and the obvious 'baddies' out there, and most people would say that it's only the "good" people who go to Heaven. So, what constitutes as a "good" person? Where's the line? Is there a line; or is it more of a gradual shading from good to bad? I'm sure, depending on who we asked and what their background was, that we could find a whole myriad of different answers to this set of questions.
  The issue is, surely there can only be one right answer? What's the point of being a good person if only a select group of people believe that you have done all that's needed to earn that label? Surely then, you couldn't be a good person unless everyone agreed and you met everyone's requirements and standards,  of which we know there is no end.

I'm going to tell you what the Bible, God's Word, has to say on the issue. I'm not going to tell you my opinions, because ultimately I'm a sinner and I'm flawed; God is Holy and Perfect and His Word is the only source that we can 100% put our trust in.

Now, what I have to say here may shock you, especially as most people would view Christians as people who claim to be "good" people- whether you believe them and their life reflects that or not is a different story. So, massive whop of Truth #1:

The Bible says there are no "good" people.

Say whaaaaaat. Isn't being a Christian all about just that; about being a good person? Isn't that the whole aim of Christianity; the rules, the morals bla bla bla?

 Nope.

Here are a couple of verses to back this up- (I wouldn't ask you to just take my word for it):

"Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins." Ecclesiastes 7:20

"The LORD looks down from heaven on the children of man, to see if there are any who understand, who seek after God. They have all turned aside; together they have become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one." Psalm 14:2-3   

(Italics my own)

So what are Christians doing then if the Bible says that no one is righteous; does this mean we don't need to be good people to go to Heaven? 

 I think if you spoke to most people, they would all have the same basic principles for what they think constitutes as a good person; someone who's kind, who doesn't murder people or act maliciously... the list could go on. The thing is, why do we, as humans, recognise this need to be "good", and why do we constantly find ourselves falling short of that standard? Wherever you go on earth, all people have these basic ideas of what it means to be good, and that we should aim to behave as such. Why is this? Some would suggest that it is because that is the only way that society can work, but then why do we find ourselves telling that occasional lie; stealing that odd thing from that person; having malicious thoughts towards those we don't like? We have this, it would appear, inbuilt standard of conduct but we can't even live by it ourselves- and yet these basic principles and morals do not change to accommodate this fact because, ultimately, we know that whether we like these rules or not that they are right.
 So firstly, why do we have this desire to do what is right; to be a good person? We are told at the start of the Bible that out of everything that God created, man was special; he was the pinnacle of it all. We are made in God's image.

"Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”" Genesis 1:26 

We are special. We're not just lucky that we happened to evolve into the most intelligent and capable beings on the planet- God made us specially and specifically to be like Him! So part of that is that we were created to have a special relationship with God, to worship and honour Him, and part of that is living in the way God would have us live. We were created to live for and serve the Living God, and that is why we all have this seemingly inbuilt desire to do good. So, why can't we?
  Because the story doesn't end there.
  In the garden of Eden, there were two trees (besides all of the normal trees): the Tree of Life and the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Adam and Eve were free to eat the fruit from ANY of the trees, including the Tree of Life, except for the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. You know how the story goes: Satan appears to Eve in the form of a serpent and twists God's words to try and confuse Eve into eating the fruit from the tree, which she does, and then offers to Adam.
 Cue sin.
 From then on, man's first instinct was no longer to honour and obey God, being in conformation to His perfect character, but instead was disobedience and shame before God. It was then that man started the habit of trying to cover up the things we are ashamed of and to hide from God and we've been doing it ever since. We still have the knowledge of what is good and right, but because of the presence of sin, we are no longer able to do it which is why we are ashamed and spend our whole lives trying to hide it from the rest of the world and from God.
 When Adam and Eve ate the fruit, the whole of creation was corrupted. Their bodies became imperfect too and began to decay along with the rest of the beautiful world that God had made for them. Their relationship with God was made imperfect, their relationship with creation was made imperfect and their relationship with each other was made imperfect. Creation began to die. The Bible tells us that death is the natural result of sin:

"For the wages of sin is death..." Romans 6:23

It all seems pretty hopeless right now, doesn't it? None of us can be good, we're all sinners, and the result of sin is death.
 But the story doesn't end there.
 Massive whop of Truth #2:

We can be GIVEN goodness.

"...but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus, our Lord." Romans 6:23

Yes, the penalty for sin is death. Yes, we are sinners. But God sent His son Jesus Christ into the world, to live a perfect life, face all of the trials that we face, and to die a horriffic death on a cross at Calvary in order that we should not have to pay the price for our own sins- so that our relationship with God could be restored through him and we could have eternal life in him and be with God forever in Heaven. Sin and death no longer have dominion over us, and we are free to live the kind of life that God intended us to have. We're still not good, but we are told that we are given goodness through Jesus:

"For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21

Jesus can take us from being enemies of God to being His children through the Holy Spirit:

"For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life." Romans 5:10 

"But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God." John 1:12-13

What a transformation! From a seemingly hopeless situation of being slaves to sin- knowing what was right and yet constantly falling short of it- and being the enemies of God, not only are we given the strength and ability to obey God through the work of Jesus Christ, but we also are given the right to become His children! The Bible even goes further than that to say that we are fellow heirs with Jesus Christ himself:

"The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him." Romans 8:16-17 

All we have to do is believe it, to accept this Get out of Jail Free card that is being offered to us; to have faith in what we cannot see but what we know is right. We're not perfect, but we are being perfected. Through the work of His Holy Spirit in our lives we are being conformed to the image of Christ, the only GOOD person that has ever existed or will exist on this earth. 

  As a christian, I am only able to truly know what is right and to do it through God's strength and the guidance of His Holy Spirit who now lives in me:

"You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness." Romans 8:9-10 

Through Christ's (The Son) death, we are reconciled to God (The Father) and the Holy Spirit comes and lives in us, giving us true life through the righteousness that it brings. However, we still have a choice of whether we listen to the Spirit or not. We are still imperfect and therefore we still get it wrong sometimes by choosing to ignore God because we think we know better. But God will always fight for us and wait for us to return to Him with arms wide open, like a Father awaiting the return of His lost child. He promises to finish the work that he starts in us:

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6 

One day we will be perfect. Not in this body or on this earth, but when God has defeated Satan once and for all, casting him and all who have rejected him into the Lake of Fire. There will be a new Heaven and a new Earth where everything will be perfect:

"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” And he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son.”"

Revelation 21:1-7 

Wow. Why wouldn't you want a bit of that, eh? Even though we are sinners, constantly letting God down and turning our backs on Him, He gives us this chance to be free; to have everything. To have LIFE. 

 But God loves us and so He gives us a choice. If you don't want Him in this life then He won't make you be with Him in the next, He'll let you pay for the consequences of your sin for yourself. If you reject God, then you accept DEATH. The passage continues:

 "But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” Revelation 21:8 

At one time, we all came under one or more of these categories. Only through Christ can we be free from these sins and come under the category "Child of God" instead. God is giving you the opportunity to have your name written in His book of Life. Nobody ever has to go to Hell. It was made for Satan and his demons, not for people created in the image of God, but if you reject His offer of eternal life then this is your destination. It's up to YOU to change that.

As always, if you have any questions about anything that I've said please feel free to get in touch via facebook, if you've come from there, or my twitter account "Amy Ferry" (currently @amythebeth). The life that I've been telling you about isn't worth missing out on just because you didn't look into it. Ask questions, pursue the Truth for yourself. 

 Praying that you find God's peace,

                                    Amy

Aventura en la Gran Habana

So here we are, after an unfashionably long wait, the second part of my Cuba story is here!


For those of you who know me, you may know two pieces of important trivia about me: I don't like flying because I get ill and I have a very particular palate (a very polite way of saying I'm a bit of a fussy eater). Naturally, travelling thousands of miles in a plane to Cuba, a completely forgein culture was going to be a bit of a challenge for me.

I met up with my 7 other teammates at Gatwick Airport, and before going to check-in we took some time to shift about and balance out our luggage; spanish bibles, first aid kits, a clown outfit, crayon face paints- y'know, the essentials. After a lengthy wait at check-in and a quick dash to the gate it wasn't too long until we were on the plane and waiting to take off. This took longer than anticipated and we soon found out the reason when a noisy latin american family made their way onto the plane about half an hour after the expected take off time. This was to set the trend for much of our experience in Cuba.

We arrived in hot and humid Cuba some time later and after waiting around for a bit for the immigration staff to find our visas and discovering that half of us were apparently Irish on them, we met up with our Latin Link supervisor and the church's pastor and hopped onto a comfortable, air-conditioned minibus. This, we were told, was to be our most comfortable journey while in Cuba.
 

 Shortly, we were at Getsemaní Baptist Church in Regla, a small urban community very close to Havana. We were welcomed very warmly and had a "merienda" or small snack before being shown to our rooms. The six of us girls were staying in the bedroom of one of the pastor's daughters, Esther, and we were greeted by beautifully decorated pink walls, 3 bunkbeds with a welcome note and folded towel swan on each bed. Meanwhile the guys were in a small room downstairs.  After having some time to unpack, get settled and freshen up a little bit we had dinner and met some more people in the church.
The next few days were spent purely at the church; we had a small orientation with our LL supervisor and the pastor, who told us about the local area and the kind of work that the church were involved with, which included a four week program which constituted of getting to know a group of people in one street or small area of Regla, letting them know about the church and eventually spreading the gospel with them. It was the church's goal to do this for the whole of Regla in a year. We also had a great bible study looking at 1 Corinthians and the importance of working together, not only as a team, but as a group of believers and brothers and sisters in Christ so that we could faithfully serve God and the people in Cuba faithfully. Had some fun getting to know some of the young people while playing some football in the upper hall of the church (where I managed to bag myself the nickname "fútbolista"!) and at a special youth service on the Saturday night. This included having to help organise the music which, between language differences and so on, took a lot of effort. Everyone we met was just so happy to meet us and treated us as if we were old buddies.
  Regla is only a five minute ride away from Havana by a special boat called the lanchita. One evening we took a small trip with a group from the church to go over to Havana's side of the water to the malecón which
is basically a promenade beside the water. We took guitars and some little drums with us and had a jam as we waited on the lanchita and then headed across on the little boat. I began speaking to a couple of guys which was really encouraging because this was the first conversation I'd had in spanish with someone by myself and, even though many gestures and help were needed, I was able to communicate which felt really great.
On the Sunday, we learned that the main church service is in the evening and a small service + bible study/sunday school is held in the morning for the children and young people, both of which we participated in.

  Early on Monday we hopped on a mini bus with the pastor and one other girl to Yumurí, a youth camp out in the country in a region called Las Mantanzas. We would be here until Friday morning, helping out the camp director with various tasks, helping in the kitchen, supervising the prayer room, organising any games and sports and just taking part alongside the kids. The week we were there, we were working with approx. 150 kids aged 12 or 13. The camp itself is beautiful and has existed from before the revolution, which is amazing. The days were long and very, very hot and sticky but we had lots of fun and it was amazing to witness how enthusiastic the kids were, not just about God's Word, but in pretty much everything they did. No one went in a huff about something they didn't want to take part in or complain- for many of the kids, this short time is the only holiday they get and it is the highlight of their year. One of the young men from our church who was there as a leader, told us his testimony here and about the special place it holds in his heart because it's where he came to know Jesus as his Lord and Saviour. The enthusiasm of the kids wasn't the only thing that was impressive; the leaders and organisers were just as, if not more, enthusiastic! So much effort was put into everything and their creativity and love for these kids was overwhelming. My stand-out memories include playing water balloon volleyball which was great fun (even when the sandy ground got wet and splattered all up your legs!) and trying to set up a water slide on our last afternoon.

AFTER

BEFORE

We used this huge tank of water on two wheels which was positioned at the top of a hill with a plastic sheet put in place. Unfortunately, the stand on the tank was removed at a rather unwise time and it got stuck leaning to one side (photos will explain). A lot of time was spent attempting to rectify this problem. Eventually we succeeded though, and much fun was had as we all got terrifically muddy sliding down the make-shift water slide.

  However, I think my most precious memory of our time at  Yumurí was on the Thursday night, the last night of camp. These kids had been hearing all week about the gospel of Jesus Christ, who he was and why he came; tonight they were asked what their response to him would be, to reject and forget everything they had been told or to accept Jesus into their hearts and lives and his free gift of eternal life. They were asked to stand up if this was what they wanted. There was a pause, and then one boy bravely stood up. Slowly, one by one, more began to join him until the whole room was on its feet. The music started up and we sang in joyful praise to God for the work he had done in these young people's lives. We then headed outside, and the biggest bonfire in the world (I exaggerate slightly...) was set up and we sang and prayed as we stood around it. It was a truly, breathtaking experience. In situations like that, it's impossible to know who really has made a genuine committment to Christ, and who stood up because everyone else was doing it, but that is between them and God and I pray sincerely that all of the young folks who stood up that night hold firm to their faith in God.


   On Friday morning, we headed off for our team holiday! It had been a tiring week so we were all glad for the break, but even if it hadn't been, how can you not appreciate a beautiful beach and the crystal blue caribbean water? We were in a hotel in a resort called Varadero, and it was really lovely. After a week of camp food, it was so great to have something that wasn't some variation on rice and beans- I don't think I've ever appreciated a burger more in my life. Parts of us did turn slightly pink/red which made for a couple of painful days, but it didn't spoil the lovely time we had as a team having devotions on the beach and sharing our testimonies, as well as our night time dips in the sea which were lots of fun.

We arrived back in Regla on Sunday afternoon and it was lovely to be welcomed back to the church so warmly; even though my home was thousands of miles away, it felt so amazing to know that I had been welcomed into this one. The next five days we helped the church run a holiday club, very similar to ones that I have been involved in helping out at here- except at the ones here, I'd never been up, learning dance routines at 8am in ~33°C heat. The kids arrived, excited and ready to have fun and we spent time singing and dancing before splitting into three age groups who then went off to different activities: games, crafts and bible lesson. Everyone in the team had a turn of helping out at a different activity, but 3/5 I was on games which was great fun, if not a little stressful at times! Cubans, in general, aren't very good at playing by the rules, so taking that into consideration with a big group of Cuban kids and you can imagine the fun we had! We brought out some of the classics; Cat & Mouse, What's the Time Mr.Wolf?, Simon Says and Broken Windows to name a few. After doing all three activities, we gathered back in the church to sing some more, watch a mini puppet show, and then the kids trooped off home, while we had lunch and took what time we had to recover!

  Throughout the week, we had the afternoons to organise what was needed for the next day and to rest, but often we had extra activities for the youth. One afternoon, we had "water activities" in the upstairs of the church building (the room in the picture of the kids with their crafts), as you can see the floor is polished so all they did was get some water and soap on the floor and the games began! However, while preparing the water balloons we found a box of some that had been prepared earlier; except these weren't exactly the expandable rubbers that we had been expecting; our ever resourceful friends had found some condoms to use for balloons instead. Let's just say, it was a little bit of a shock, but a laugh-out-loud moment nonetheless. On another afternoon, we had our first church outing to the beach. We grabbed a set of goal posts and some other sports equiptment and all jumped onto the this truck-bus-hybrid. We had a great time messing about with the other young people, snorkeling, swimming, playing volleyball and having spitting contests with the seeds from some funky kind of starburst-tasting fruit. Much banter was had.
  One of the afternoons that week we had our first experience of a tropical rain storm. The heavens opened and the rain just poured down, bouncing off the streets. It was amazing to witness. That evening we had an outing to a local fort, where a canon is set off every night at 9pm. The most interesting part of all of this was that they charged a lot more money for foreigners, so all 8 of us had to make as much of an effort as possible to fit in with the Cubans, linking arms, wearing caps, adopting Cuban names for the evening- you name it. Aboslutely great fun.

On Saturday we took a trip into Havana with the Pastor, Yan and Meyli and Ruslan. We walked around Old Havana and visited some big tourist spots as well as the oldest cathedral in Cuba. It was really interesting to go in and see firsthand what a hodgepodge of religion there is in Cuba- at a glance it looked like any other catholic catherdral but at a closer look- and with a cuban friend to explain- it was a big mix of catholicism and naturistic religions brought over from East Africa; this religion is called Santaría and it is very popular in the area we were in. That night there was a social night at the church which, we learned that afternoon, that we had to dress up for. We consisted of a mix of Scottish "national dress", a pirate, 2 self-made Cubans, a bunch of grapes, a zebra and a Nigerian. We played some games and watched a video that had been made of the week we had just had at the holiday club. In the evenings, we also had the opportunity to learn more about the Regla community by visiting family of people in the church at their homes and by taking part in their home groups. It was a wonderful thing to be able to put language and cultrual barriers aside to just gather around God's Word and share fellowship with one another.
The days were flying by and, just as I had known from the start, I didn't want to leave.
 On the Monday, we had another outing to the beach except this time it was further away with more people crammed onto another truck-bus-hybrid. I think we counted about 80 people, sitting down on the two rows of benches lining the sides and then the rest standing and fitting the spaces in between. Safe to say we were all pretty friendly by then. The beach was great fun and we were there all day, playing Uno in the shade, swimming, sitting on the beach soaking up the sun before heading back to rainy Britain and learning to play a new game. It consisted of a group of people standing in a circle with one person kneeling in the middle. The people on the outside passed the ball around in a volleyball-like fashion and anyone who missed the ball or hit a bum shot had to join the person in the middle. To add to the fun, as well as passing to the people around the circle, you were also allowed (and encouraged!) to take a spike at the people sitting in the centre. However, if you didn't hit anyone you had to join them. If someone in the centre catches the ball, then they can all go back to the outside of the circle and the person who caused the ball to get caught starts a new group in the middle. I wish it was more acceptable to play this kind of game in Health-and-Safety-obsessed-Britain, genuinely laughed so much and had an amazing time.
  Our last couple of days were spent organising bible sessions in the mornings for any church members who wanted to come and preparing ourselves for going home. It was in these last couple of days that I really began to appreciate the relationships that had formed between us and the members of the church. Being the music coordinator, I had to take time to sit and go through the music that had been chosen for the small services we were organising and, it was while doing this, that I had great fellowship with Yan and Meyli, the youth pastor and his wife. We spent time flicking through their hymn book to try and find songs that we all knew, and it turned into an amazing time of worship spent together- we even got onto Christmas songs! It felt wonderful to know that, it didn't matter if I understood all the words that I was singing; my God did and we were enjoying praising His Holy Name.
 On our last night we had a service of remembrence and praise. Lots of the young people came and it was so lovely to think that we'd had an impact on their lives. We sang, had a quiz, watched a video that the Cubans had made for us of our time with them, and prayed together.
 I didn't want to go to bed that night because I knew then that the morning would come; when I woke up it would be time to go home and leave my wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ. I wasn't ready to say goodbye yet. However, I did have to go to bed and the next day did come. We packed up all of our things, spent some time thanking our amazing hosts and giving out gifts.
 Leaving on that minibus with all of our luggage felt like leaving a second home and a second family, however, I know that I have the hope of Christ and that, whether it's in this life or the next, we will be reunited and it is going to be incredible.

Since coming back from Cuba I am more certain than ever of God's calling on my life to go and serve Him long-term in Central America. I don't know where exactly and I don't know when, but I am sure of one thing; my God is going to lead me there and He will provide me with everything I need.